Never
by 5036780
Summary: What if Renesmee hadn't looked at Jacob before he attacked her? What if he imprinted after he tried to destroy her? Please review! I really want to know what you think...If you're an Emmett girl, check out Chapter 3!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone…this is a sad story about 'what if-?'**

**Please review…I might write some more – not sure yet!**

**It's set in Breaking Dawn, the very end of Jacob's book.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **

Jacobs POV

_I had to destroy it._

The thing that had sucked the life out of Bella. Killed her.

I crouched low, overcome by a poisonous hatred for the monster. All my fury from the past months suddenly exploded out of me.

I was ready to attack – then I heard a scream of anguish from upstairs – Bella, dying because of the creature before me.

A fierce growl ripped through my throat – I felt my body shake violently.

_Kill it – now._

With a roar, I leapt towards Rosalie and the thing – she was protecting it. I would get her first.

The sound of ripping clothes filled the air, and a smash as a crystal vase was knocked from the coffee table. I phased mid-air.

Rosalie screamed in horror. I swiped at the creature in her hands. Tearing, scratching…_destroy the monster._

I growled, crazy with fury. Rosalie roared and arched herself over the baby, protecting it. She punched her fists at me. There was a sickening crunch as bone crumbled beneath her strength.

But I was too furious to think straight. I snarled, baring my teeth and lunged at her again.

_Kill it._

Rosalie leapt up as I dove towards her, towards the monster. I felt my paws connect with skin. Not frozen skin. _It's _skin…I had it.

But a stabbing pain filled my side, to great to ignore. I howled, as she stabbed a shard of crystal through my side. She was a monster too. And she wanted a mini monster.

Then I heard it – the baby crying.

_It wasn't even dead yet._

The blonde vampire lunged towards my throat, hands outstretched, spitting like an animal. I had never seen anything so terrifying. Her eyes were narrowed into slits and she had a look of pure evil on her face.

Like she was.

She had killed, murdered Bella for the creature. I rolled onto my side, howling in agony as the glass drove into me. I snapped at the baby's leg, it was on the couch, face down, wailing.

Probably wanted more blood.

My teeth scraped its leg.

_Kill it NOW._

Then it turned. I saw it for the first time. The baby.

And that's when it happened.

The feeling.

Warming, like someone had poured a hot liquid down my throat. It filled my up, spreading to the tips of my fingers and toes.

And I looked at the child on the couch and understood.

My reason for living. A million steel strings tying me to Earth. The key to my heart. My soul completed.

My Renesmee.

Then I saw the damage _I'd _done.

My jaws slackened, I stepped back. My head spun, I felt sick. My legs buckled beneath me. I tried to suck air into my lungs, deep gasps of oxygen.

I backed away slowly…'What had I done?'

The baby…Rosalie…the broken vase…_the blood_.

I was suddenly overcome by an undeniable, disgusting hatred for myself – I'd done it. Me. A killer, a destroyer…_a monster._

I turned to run, to escape, but before I could, I heard a scream and then a shout.

Rosalie flew towards me, at the speed of light. I had no chance to move.

She slammed into me, and I winced as I crashed onto the bits of glass. I felt them puncturing my skin.

Then I saw Edward, watching. Rosalie had my neck. One quick twist and I'd be gone. I had no chance of survival.

"Rose…" Edward said urgently, crouching beside the silent child.

I took the opportunity. As she stepped off me, distracted, I summoned all the strength I could muster and broke free of her grasp. I limped towards the door, waiting for her to catch me, kill me.

But she didn't. I glanced back at the door.

Edward was cradling his squirming child in is arm, his top blood-stained. His other arm was wrapped around Rosalie, holding her back.

She was shivering with rage, spitting furiously. "Anyone who would destroy innocence doesn't deserve to live." She hissed.

I knew…I agreed. I'd never felt worse before on my entire life.

I met Edward's eyes. They were hollow – shock written on his face.

"You…" he trailed off.

I whined and Rosalie swore colourfully.

"Don't _ever_ come back here. " he whispered.

"Ever."

I turned and ran, fast as I could.

I kept running, through the trees, past the stream.

I would never come back.

I couldn't live with myself after what I'd done.

_Couldn't live with myself._

_Never._

_Ever._

**There you go! PLEASE review!!!!! Let me know if you cried, or didn't think it was emotional enough.**

**I might make amendments.**

**Thanks for your help.**

**xxxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Jacobs POV**

_I had to escape. Go as far away as possible. To protect everyone from me. A monster._

_I had to keep running. To hide._

I flew through the hedgerow, not caring as the briars and thorns scratched my matted fur, clinging to the hair, like dead flies. I just had to leave.

My shoulder was crushed, the pain was killing me. But it was nothing compared to the pain that was killing Renesmee. _My Renesmee. _The pain that _I _had inflicted upon her.

I howled at that bitter thought, a poisonous hate for myself causing me to loose my footing. How could I?

I crashed down into an invisible pocket of earth. My hind leg gave and, for the second time that day, I felt the bone destroy beneath me. I couldn't go on.

Already, I had run into unfamiliar territory. There was no vampire smell, and no scent of my pack.

I was safe for now.

I lay, shaking vigorously, in the mossy ground, and tried to burrow my head into the earth. To escape from the horrifying truth of what I'd done.

Like an ostrich, sticking it's head in the sand, to escape from danger.

'_Ha', _I thought bitterly, '_Jacob the ostrich.'_

Except, I wasn't hiding from danger…_I was _the danger.

As the rain started falling around me, I was too exhausted to think any more, to hate myself and longer. I faded quietly into the darkness…

**Edward's POV**

I held the little baby close to my chest, stroking her bloodied face.

"It's going to be alright." I hushed her, trying to keep my voice calm," You'll be OK."

She stayed silent, her eyes shut, her tiny arms and legs, kicking gently at nothing.

Was she going to be alright? I hoped for that mongrel's sake that she would be. His death would be _so_ painful if he had damaged my child.

Rosalie slapped my face, hard, as soon as he had run far enough for me to let her go.

"What was _that?_" she spat, looking at me with disgust, "He deserved to die."

Why had I left him free?

Maybe it was because I knew that his own suffering would be worse than any amount of pain Rosalie could do to him.

Maybe it was Bella. Jacob was her best friend. In the whole world, and I knew that when she woke as one of us, no matter how furious she was at what Jacob had done, a part of her heart would be missing if Jacob was dead. Murdered by one of us.

It was comforting to think that I had reasons for not tearing the eyes from his head, it wasn't just insanity, or a fibre of liking for him.

"How is she?" Rosalie bent over Renesmee in my arms. She tried to take her from me but I held on, "Let me hold her." I said, as though asking permission to hold my own child.

"We have to save her!" I said desperately, momentarily losing my composure.

"We will." Rosalie said defiantly, "Clean her with cotton wool and warm water – I'll get Carlisle."

And with that she took off, faster than light, literally.

I lay Renesmee out on the couch, and pulled of the sleep suit that was wrapped around her. She was so beautiful, so tiny. How could he…?

"It's going to be alright." I repeated, placing my index finger on her chest. I could feel her steady, determined heartbeat. Determined, like her mother.

_Bella._

I strained my ears, trying to hear Bella upstairs. She was whimpering, in pain. I needed to be with her, but I couldn't leave my baby.

Alice had us well prepared for a baby. Her and Esme had gone out and blown almost a grand on nappies, toys, milk formula, liquidised food(despite the fact we had a fair idea the food was not the baby's preferred sustenance) creams and cotton wool.

Then Renesmee opened her tiny eyes, and peeped through her lashed at me.

"Hello, baby." I smiled, gently wiping blood from her face.

A deep gash ran from her eyebrow to her chin, blood was oozing out of it.

She whimpered quietly when I wiped it down.

Her leg was lying at a funny angle. I didn't want to touch it, but it looked bad.

I'd just put down the soft sponge, for wiping her face, when Carlisle flew in, Esme and Alice hot on his heels.

Renesmee didn't look to bad anymore. Her face was clean, and the deep, puckered wound stood out prominently. It was deep and dark red around the edges.

"Please," I begged Carlisle, "Make her better."

Then upstairs, Bella screamed.

"I can't stay here…"I said, pained, "I need to go upstairs…" I trailed off, torn between two things.

"Go," Esme urged me, "Your wife needs you to be strong."

I flew upstairs, and took Bella's hand. I kissed it, and knelt down beside her.

"Your baby's alright." I said, "She'll be OK."

I was worried, an emotion I rarely experienced. I felt so useless.

Here I was, sitting, motionless beside my Bella, writhing in pain, because I was trying to save her.

My newborn baby was downstairs, clinging to life, and I could do nothing.

_Nothing._

I hated the feeling.

I decided to try something I've often seen humans doing when they panic. I bit down on my iron-like nails.

I couldn't even make a dent, and sat their, chewing, watching Bella.

Hours past. I could hear Renesmee's gurgles from downstairs.

Then, eventually, when the sun was setting, and casting an amber glow over the horizon I'd had my gazed fixed firmly on, a knock came to the door.

"Yes?" I asked, sitting up straighter in anticipation.

Rosalie walked in, holding Renesmee in her arms. She had a plaster cast engulfing her leg, and her deep scar was stitched up. I quickly counted the stitches. Twenty.

My heart was broken, seeing her like she was. I held out my arms, and Rosalie passed her to me.

"Hello, baby!" I cooed at Renesmee. She blinked up at me. I kissed her soft, powder-scented forehead.

Then, she gave a childish giggle, and placed her tiny hand on my cheek. I saw images of Carlisle bending over her, and Esme making entertaining faces behind him.

It was as if she was saying, 'Don't worry, Daddy, they took good care of me.'

And at that moment, a weight lifted off my shoulders, and I felt free again.

"She'll be fine, Carlisle says." Rosalie informed me, stroking Renesmee's good cheek with a thin, porcelain finger, "She'll be OK."

Damn, that dog was lucky.

**There you go! I might be a while updating, because I'm going on holidays, sorry!**

**PLEASE review! Please, please, please, they're so helpful and supportive!**

**Thanks**

**Xxxxxxxxxx G**


	3. Chapter 3

**Edward's POV**

The next morning at dawn, I heard Renesmee's cries from Rosalie and Emmett's room.

I decided that me being with Bella wasn't doing anything for either of us, and left the room to check on the baby.

I made my way across the hall, and that was when I heard a very peculiar noise.

It sounded like someone was _singing_.

I located the source of the noise quickly –Rosalie and Emmett's room – not what I'd expected.

Stealthily, I crept to the door and peered in.

I nearly lost my acute balance at what I saw next.

Emmett (massive, scary, bear-like Emmett) was standing beside the wooden cot purchased for Renesmee, cradling the child in his massive arms.

And singing to her.

" Hiya, baba!" he cooed. Cooed!

"What are you doing? What are you doing?" he lifted her above his head, and blew a raspberry into her stomach.

She giggled delightedly.

'_Rock a by baby, _

_On the tree top, _

_When the wind blows, _

_The cradle will rock, _

_When the bah breaks, _

_The cradle will fall, _

_And DOWN will come baby, _

_Cradle and all!'_

I love to imagine what would've happened next, if Renesmee hadn't placed her hand on his cheek, and showed him an image of me at the door.

His head whipped around and he saw me.

His face said it all.

He was _mortified._

Emmett's reaction was just what I needed to cheer me up after a long night watching Bella in pain.

He practically dropped Renesmee back into her cot (just as well there was a lot of padding).

Then he turned his back to me and vigorously ran a hand through is cropped black hair.

"Please," I said, struggling to sound sincere, "Don't stop. You have a lovely voice."

A snort of laughter escaped me.

"You were singing to Renesmee!" I said gleefully, albeit in a childish manner.

"No, I wasn't!!" but his thoughts contradicted that.

Emmett clamped two hands around the cot bars and tapped one foot.

"Don't bother lying to a mind reader." I said, and then smiled.

"Wait 'til everyone hears about this!"

The cot bars snapped underneath his strength.

"Damn!" he swore, then jumped back, "I- uh,was just…erm…?

Just one more joke – then I'd stop.

"You should be working in a crèche." I informed him, cheerfully.

If Emmett could blush, he'd have been _scarlet._

Then he regained some normal 'Emmett' composure and flitted to my side.

"Any word to anyone and you are so fuc-",he glanced over at Renesmee, cuddling a teddy and watching us intently.

Good, so she didn't have concussion from being dropped by Emmett.

"-frickin' dead." He finished.

"Oh, I'm terrified, you big nursery-rhyme singing monster!" I smirked, patting his back.

So he did what Emmett does. He thumped me.

There was a dull thud as I staggered back into the door frame. Renesmee giggled.

I really wanted to laugh at Emmett's embarrassment, but I was afraid he'd kill me.

I made my way over to the (broken) cot. Emmett stomped out of the room.

Renesmee blinked her beautiful eyes up at me and giggled again.

I felt fantastic at once, and marvelled at the fact that one baby's laugh could make me feel better almost instantaneously.

"What was Emmett doing?" I asked, bending down to lift her out of the cot. She gurgled delightedly.

I cradled my arm underneath her tiny body, and lifted her cast gently.

"She'll just need it for two weeks." Carlisle told me, "I'm being extra careful because she's a newborn, but her bone structure is almost as strong as ours. An extreme amount of pressure would have been needed to break it."

I'd been trying to push all thoughts of the accident from my mind, but I knew I was going to have to confront it sometime.

What if that dog tried to come back?

What would I tell Bella?

What was I going to do?


End file.
